Well, this is embarrassing...

I'm an idiot. The waiter is a jerk. Actually, he's engaged--to a dumpy girl who lets him mack on other women and tucks him in at the end of the night.

Well, it's all just as well, for reasons explained previously. It ended up being a fun night, anyway. I took S with me, and we ran into her hilarious friend W, who had come into the bar to buy cigarettes and ended up staying for a series of alternating Miller Lights and shots of Jamesons, with an interjection of birthday champagne. And at least I got some chocolate birthday cake out of the deal. But really, phoey on boys.