Chief White Cloud

Last night I made my last visit to the Grouchy Norwegian’s Ghetto Laundromat. The weather was insufferably hot and the GNGL has no air-conditioning, as I believe I mentioned. The GN has put out a suggestion box. That one’s obvious: AIR CONDITIONING, dumbass. Also, quit feeding those pigeons and encouraging them to come right in the laundromat and dive-bomb your customers and panic and fly into the windows.

An older gentleman with a handlebar moustache, a vagabond type, emptied the contents of his backpack into a washer, then he took of his shirt and put it in, then sat down, unlaced his boots, pulled off his socks and put them in. I was afraid he was going to take his jeans off. If I hadn’t been there, he probably would have. Two other very attractive though grungy looking guys my age came in later.

But it was just so hot, it made me grouchy. It made me feel like I didn’t want anyone to stand within five feet of me. It made physical contact seem highly undesirable. It made sex seem like a completely unappealing notion.

So I sat there and read the new issue of Harper’s and sweated and the old guy checked me out and I got further annoyed. Then the GL came out and gave us all some pens that he had made up as promotional items. It turns out that the real name of the GNGL is “Chief White Cloud Self Laundry Mat.” Who knew? There’s no signage out front, just a big four-leaf clover design tacked to the front of the building, which doesn’t really suggest the name “Chief White Cloud.”

Oh, Grouchy Norwegian Man, I know you like me and I have a certain disgruntled affection for you, but I will never, ever use your crappy laundromat again.

Everyone should read the new Harper’s. There’s an essay by a Christian who explains why American fundamentalism isn’t really Christianity and a story about Formosan termites in New Orleans, but the main attraction is an article that details the documented Republican shenanigans in Ohio in the last election that clearly violated voters’ rights and possibly really did amount to the stealing of the election. The exit polls might have been a true reflection of how voters thought they voted. And we all shrugged and rolled over.