I am a bad person

Mr. M sends me one or two-line email messages a couple of times a week. I didn’t intend to blow him off, but I haven’t responded to a single one of them. The latest one just says “How’s tricks?” Now, if it doesn’t seem urgent and I don’t have anything particular to say in answer to the question, I’m probably not going to answer right away. I’m going to file it away in my head to email Mr. M. But before I get around to it, he sends another. And then it starts to get annoying. If we wanted to talk to me, he could call, but he doesn’t. We broke up and didn’t talk for awhile, then he called and we had one unpleasant phone conversation, when I told him exactly why I was mad and why I was through with him as a boyfriend. But, considering all we’ve been through and the unusual nature of our relationship, I said I hoped we could be friends and that I wouldn’t keep harping on my complaints. He called again a few days later and we had a perfectly friendly conversation. We exchanged a few emails. But he never called again, he just keeps bombarding me with these one-line emails that I don’t answer. Which I didn’t intend to not answer, but which have now become so annoying that I don’t want to answer.

My mother does the same thing, only she doesn’t email as much and I somewhat more deliberately avoid responding when she does. But she won’t call. She’ll just get her feelings hurt that I don’t call her or respond to her pointless email.

It’s wrong of me not to call her, I guess. I know I’m going to regret keeping her at arms length. And it makes me feel like I’m a bad person that two people who I know want to talk to me won’t call me. But it also makes them seem like passive annoying weenies that I don’t want to talk to. I’m not sure how I became such a bitch. But I know I get along better with people who are not afraid of me!