It's not like I didn't know...

that there would be days like this. New Orleans on the news, a New Orleans themed MBE practice question. I would be totally fine with moving away if I knew for sure I would always be able to go back one or twice a year, if I wanted. But I'm still unemployed and broke. And if I don't pass the bar or make things work here, it's not like I will be able to run back to NOLA. Instead I will be living in my parent's guest room.

Well, that should be plenty of incentive to study like a fiend the next two weeks.

I'm sad that I had so few people to say goodbye to after all my years in NOLA. The post-storm diaspora didn't help, but let's look this in the face: I am bad at forging bonds with people. I need bonds with people. Richmond is an opportunity for me to start over and do better.

As for J, I don't care if I ever see him naked again as long as I get to see him play. I would feel better if he would send me the promised package. I would feel better if he was still uber hot for me. He made me feel like I'm bad in bed--although, actually, he wasn't the most, um, skilled and attentive lover. He was sort of bossy and selfish--but, perversely, that turns me on and brings out some need to please. Which then makes me feel inadequate and puts me in the head space I'm in now. I so much want to be a devastating femme fatale with a pack of devoted lovers. That's probably not going to happen in reality world, and it's definitely not going to ever come close to happening as long as I am so.. susceptible, vulnerable, easily knocked off center.