Dancing

I love dancing because it is the singular physical activity that I am naturally good at. I might immodestly say that I am naturally “good” at sex, but I don’t know if that’s a talent so much as a matter of being comfortable with myself and genuinely enjoying the experience (depending on who I'm having it with). Someone once told me I was unusually good at getting a massage because I have a great capacity to relax and let go! But that's the opposite of a physical activity.

I tend to feel physically gawky and awkward. Team sports make me feel clumsy and solitary sports seem tedious. I’ve done light weight training off and on for years, and it makes me feel good and gives me certain benefits, but I neither enjoy nor dislike the actual activity. To me, it's more as a matter of maintaining rather than progressing. I’ve also done Iyengar yoga for years, which is hugely important to my physical and mental health, but I’m not really good at it. Really, yoga is not something you can say you’re good at, because it’s more a matter of being where you are. I might be “better” at yoga than I used to be, because I’m more precisely aware of what I’m doing in some of the poses and the different actions seem more integrated. But I’m not the hyper-flexible yoga diva. I still can't touch my toes without bending my knees, and I don’t have yoga butt.

When I was in my early twenties, I was sort of surprised to go to clubs for the first time and realize that once I was coaxed onto the dance floor I was kind of good at it. It had a lot to do with the way that I feel or respond to music pretty intensely At that time, it seemed that most white kids were pretty stiff on the floor. I think it was because we were still affected by the disco backlash. Recently, though, it seems that white kids can really actually dance. When I went to see the Dap Kings, Sharon Jones pulled a couple of white boys out of the audience to dance with her, and they were good. They could keep up with her.

I always loved to watch more structured couples dancing, but I was intimidated because I didn’t know what I was doing. But I’ve found that if I try, I catch on pretty quickly. I’m still a beginning swing dancer, but I’m a talented beginner and I can do all kinds of cool things. I’m really excited about how much better I’ve gotten in such a short time, and I really want to make this a permanent regular part of my life, because it’s giving me a kind of physical satisfaction I’ve never had before.