The man on the sidewalk

There are a couple of regular bums in my neighborhood who have been scuffling around it for as long as I've lived there and surely much longer. One in particular is a tall black guy, probably about fiftyish, with matted grey dreadlocks. Sometimes he pushes a cart around the neighborhood, singing to himself and picking up cans. Sometimes he's passed out at the bus stop. He doesn't speak, although that might be just because no one speaks to him.

This morning he was laying face up on the sidewalk on Constance Street around the corner from my house. I was on my way to work (late) on my bike. I didn't notice him till I was almost past him. I was noticing the barking dog next door, then realized the dog was barking at the man on the sidewalk.

I looked at him. Made eye contact even. Made a little "oh shit" face. Was about to double back. Then I stopped. Like my brain was weighing the evidence and judged this not a stop-worthy incident. He was awake, didn't seem upset or anything. There was some crusted blood around his nose--that's what made it at first register as something I should help with. But there were lots of other people out on the street. A couple of meter readers, guys across the street working on a house. Cars driving by. The garbage men had been by. If they weren't worried about this, why should I be? Of course, maybe they were thinking the same of me.

I thought of Adam in India, where presumably he walks by people sprawled on the street all day long. I thought about how I'd been reading about Paul Farmer and feeling inspired to do good, and here's my own neighbor on the sidewalk and I won't even stop to ask if he's okay.

But it's also important to not be too much of a sucker, so all the world's overwhelming dysfunction doesn't suck you in. Probably this guy just didn't quite make it to the bench in time last night, and just passed out there when he got ready to pass out. Now it's morning and he's going to shuffle on down to the shelter to get somethng to eat. I hope so. If he's dead on the sidewalk, the bad karma's on me.

You know, a few blocks later when I was turning toward Magazine Street, I saw MP crossing ahead, on his way to the Rue with his dogs. Now it occurs to me that I should have gone after him and asked him about it. Whatever else can be said about him, he's really good at balancing being an upstanding neighborhood guy with being a non-sucker.

Addendum: after writing this post I read the local news and learned that there have been four murders in the last 24 hours in the city. Bodies on sidewalks all over town.